Yesterday TMZ released a story about singer Chris Brown’s ex-girlfriend Karrueche filing and being granted a restraining order against him earlier this month. Excerpts from court docs were released revealing portions of Karrueche’s sworn statement to the judge about past physical abuse and recent threats. Since the story broke, Chris Brown supporters have taken to the internet to shame Karrueche. I shared my thoughts about the victim shaming on my personal blog. However, this post is not about that. This is post is about walking through fear, even when you know people may not support you and ultimately living on your own terms.
Karrueche Tran, then personal shopper, began dating Chris Brown shortly after he was convicted of assaulting ex-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009. Their 6-year on-again off-again relationship was littered with drama of its own. They broke up several times due to Brown’s cheating which eventually led to him having a child with another women. During their off moments, Brown was verbally abusive to Tran via social media for the world to see.
Although she did some modeling and styling during their relationship, she kept it pretty low key on the career front. The public often questioned what she did other than follow Chris Brown around. No one knows what actually happened behind closed doors but by the way things are playing now, it wasn’t pretty. Abuse in any form can affect the self-esteem of the victim resulting in a lack of drive and the urge to stay close to the abuser.
So when Karrueche Tran finally ended things with Chris Brown and her career, which has been random modeling gigs, morphed into acting roles and consistent work, I wasn’t surprised. Yes, some of that was a result of her having dated Brown, but I’m pretty sure she was offered opportunities when they were together as well. The difference is now she’s was making her own decisions based on her dreams and not from under the thumb of an abusive lover.
Since their breakup, Karrueche Tran has been building a career and getting her coins. She has been in two films, won an Emmy as a producer of online series “The Bay” and will be starring in new TNT dramedy “Claws”.
How often do we let the roles others play in our lives distract us from the roles we see for ourselves? Whether it’s low self-esteem due to abuse or simply being a people pleaser, we should never dim our lights so that someone else can shine. And walking through our fear only helps us to shine brighter in the end.
Walk through your fear then dust yourself off and start that new career, launch that new business…follow your dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’