[GIRL CHAT] Tribe Woes: The Kind of Friends We DON’T Need

I used to “grin and bare” so much to appease the people I called friends. That has changed a lot in the last few years. The older I get the more important it is for me to surround myself with the right energy. I have a few ride or die friends who have always had my back and a few newbies that share my interests and values but my circle has gotten so much smaller and I like it that way.

Trīb/ noun: A tribe is a group of people, or a community with similar values or interests

I made a conscious decision to pull out the weeds who either didn’t know what real friendship looked like or were incapable of being a true friend…at least to me. As an over 30 year old wife and mother certain characteristics just don’t work for me anymore. There are certain traits that made me run for the hills when it came certain “friends”.

  • The Selfish friend: She only calls when she’s in need of an ear or a shoulder or wants to your opinion. She will have you up in arms about her situation then won’t even answer when you call later to check on her.
  • The Unaccountable Friend: She never says she’s sorry for anything and has an excuse for everything. When you call her out on her issues she throws yours up to deflect.
  • The Fake Friend: She acts different depending on who’s around. You never know what version of her is gonna show up next and you’re tired or trying to guess.
  • The Dependent Friend: She can’t make a decision on her own. She needs you for everything and sucks you dry of energy. You can literally feel the life being sucked out of you the minute her your phone rings and you see its her.
  • The Unreliable Friend: You’re always there for her and you only ask for her to reciprocate every blue moon but she never comes through. She will promise that she’s got you “this time for real” but when the time come she’s got a “really good reason” why she can’t or didn’t.

We all have our moments and fall short of what is expected of us sometimes, but your tribe is supposed to generally bring out the best in you. If members of your squad leave you feeling drained, unappreciated and taken advantage of, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate who you call your friends. It has been said that we are the sum of the 5 people closest to us. What do the members of your tribe say about you?